Prozac and Zyprexa Murdered My Son — (Bryan's Mom)

It’s been exactly one month since Bryan’s death and it’s as hard for us now as the night he took his life.  Nothing about that night made sense.  Nothing about anything that Bryan had been doing for the last six years made any sense, the jumping, the microwave, the electric sockets, stopping up toilets, none of it made any sense.  The night Bryan shot himself in the head was the most tragic and bizarre of all.  He had been extremely anxious and agitated for several days.  His computer was running slow so I sent it out for repair.  It was only gone for two days.  When the technician left the house Bryan got on his computer and started unplugging it from the CPU tower.  We fussed at him and told him to stop it.  He sat down in the den for a few minutes and then went into the bath room.  We heard glass break.  We went into the bathroom and found that he had punched a glass picture that hung on the wall.  He and done that in the past in his bedroom.  While trying to tend to his hand we continued to scold him.  Why?  We couldn’t understand what was going on with him.  He broke away from me and ran out of the house at top speed.  He was barefoot and in his pajamas.  It was about 8pm and cold outside.  I got in my vehicle and went out looking for him.  When I found him he was standing in the middle of the street three blocks away.  I saw people standing outside their door, one man had a baseball bat.  They were afraid. They didn’t know who he was.  He got into the car.  He was very quiet on the ride home.  When we walked into the house he sat down quietly in the den with his dad.  I noticed the police cars driving pass my house.  I walked to the front door and motioned for them to come in.  When the first two officers walked in my husband joined me in the foyer.  Seconds later we heard the gun shot.  We found Bryan on the floor in our bedroom dying from a gunshot wound to the head.  It’s a night we will never forget.  A night that is seared in our memories forever…

Bryan was only 24 years old.  He had Aspergers Syndrome.  He had never been on medication until he was 18 years old.  After Hurricane Katrina he was anxious and easily agitated.  He was referred to a Psychiatrist who started him on Lexapro.  His symptoms only worsened.  A few months later Risperdal was added.  Thus the roller coaster of psychiatric medication, hospitalization and mental despair for my son began.  The last 2 years of my sons life he was on Zyprexa 20mg and Prozac 80mg. The medication made him psychotic.  He was pouring liquids in electric sockets, placing objects in the microwave to burn them, putting objects in the toilet to stop it up, and jumping from upstairs to the foyer some 20ft several times a day.  He had to be watched all of the time.  We could never leave him home alone and he slept with me and his dad.  We installed 6 cameras and 7 motion sensors in the house.  I took him to all appointments and made sure he took his medication.  We challenged any increases in medication doses and changes in medication.  But we listened to the professionals.  What we didn’t know is that Zyprexa and Prozac causes suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts and the pharmaceutical industry knew this an suppressed  this information.  It was just glossed over in the literature that came with the medication.  He even told both his Psychiatrist and Psychologist that he wanted to kill himself.  He said ” I’m gonna go home and put hand grenades in my mouth and blow my head off”, or ” I’m gonna get a helicopter and jump in the lake. These statements were dismissed as childish ramblings.  If we only knew what we know now.  Our son, the love of our life would still be here with us.   We are heartbroken.  We still can’t believe this is real.  Our son is gone…

…Today is November 1st one year after Bryan’s death.  Yesterday morning was Halloween.  Halloween was much more difficult for me than today will be.  I will always be haunted by the memory of Bryan begging me to go out trick or treating but I was too tired to go out with him.  His father offered to go with him but he wanted to go out with me and only me.  Little did I know that it would be the last time I would have had to have fun with my child.  Yesterday morning I was really grieving and I dozed off to sleep.  I rolled over in the bed and he was there.  I held him, I could feel the warmth of his body.  I smelled him and rubbed his head.  I kissed him and told him how much I loved him. Yes it was a dream but I am certain it was actually Bryan coming to comfort me.  Bryan has come to us many times and in many ways but the most peaceful is when he appears in my dreams.  Most amazingly is the warmth I felt from his body.

…If you have a special needs child or a child that is on medication you may want to reconsider keeping that child on medication.  If Bryan had not been started on medication  I am certain that he would still be here.  If I could turn back the hands of time we would have just managed as best we could with his behavior and never placed him on medication.  Eli Lily is completely aware that Prozac causes people to want to commit suicide and in a small number of cases the need to kill themselves is over whelming.  My son fell into that group.  How many mass murders and suicides will the public have to endure before the FDA pulls drugs like Prozac and Zyprexa are pulled from the market.  These antidepressants and SSRI’s are dangerous and the cure nothing.  My son started on Lexapro and escalated to Risperdal, Abilify, and finally Prozac and Zyprexa.  The Pharmaceutical Companies murdered my son as surely as the gun he put to his head.  I can’t bring my son back but I can warn others of the danger.
We can never bring Bryan back.  We love him so very much.  We will see him again.
We love you Bryan, We Miss you
Bryan’s Mom.