Suzanne Gonzalez — (FDA Hearings 2006)

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THE FDA PSYCHOPHARMACOLOGIC DRUGS ADVISORY COMMITTEE HEARINGS 2006

DR. PINE: Thank you.  The next speaker is Ms. Suzanne Gonzalez.
MS. GONZALEZ: Good morning. I would rather be anywhere than here. There is supposed to be a picture of my husband up there with my son.
My husband was 40 years old. We tried for 10 years for another child. This (indicating) is my daughter Elaina. Four pills into Paxil, he woke up, within an hour he shot himself in the head. He did this less than 10 feet from where my son was sleeping.
If I would have done our usual routine,this little boy would have found his father facing ours with a bullet wound to his head.
You people have known about this for 14 – 15 years or more. I hold you all responsible for his death, and I always will. I wasn’t prepared for this speech. I wasn’t prepared for his suicide.
I just keep asking myself, or I did in the beginning, what was my husband thinking? I hear these stories of people just taking the pills and going crazy.
How crazy did you make him that morning that he would get up, not think, and do this to himself? You have ruined my life, my daughter’s life, my son’s life. How in the hell do I tell a kid that his father committed suicide?
How dare him. The bullet was a .357. It could have ricocheted and done something to this boy. Worst yet, my husband could have killed us.
She (pointing) wasn’t home. What if she would have come home and found all of us dead?
There are so many stories out there. I read about this stuff every damn day and cannot believe that you people sit on this and do nothing.
You have made everybody a wreck. These people have to come here before Christmas. They’ve got kids. They’ve got families. Ho, ho, ho, to you.
(Applause.)
MS. GONZALEZ: I don’t know. I wake up every morning and I say to myself, “Oh, my God, he’s dead. He is fricking dead.”
Do you wake up and think, “How many people are going to die today because I’m not doing nothing?”
You’re not doing nothing. I was worried about coming here. Who in the hell are you? Who are the pharmacy people? It may appear like I’m upset and I’m not conducting myself in a proper way. I don’t give a damn.
I used to be a hell of a nice person. I used to be outgoing, friendly. I took care of my family. And this has to happen to us? This is not fair.
DR. PINE: Thank you.
MS. GONZALEZ: Yeah. Thank you for nothing.
(Applause.)